Little Moments, Big Connections

I had an opportunity today to witness many Respite supporters, clients, and friends in action today during shooting for an upcoming promotional video produced by Media Bridges, to whom we owe a thousand thanks!  In order to get a balanced perspective, we gathered shelter clients, housing clients, volunteers, staff, and everyone in-between to share their thoughts on camera.

I was half-hoping to avoid the spotlight, but found myself sitting in front of the camera after all.  It wasn’t so bad.  Plus, I remembered some things: first, that being recorded makes us all a little nervous, second, that what we do here is truly critical, and third, that many of our connections happen during little moments.  I define a “little moment” as an ordinary event with an extraordinary human connection.

The Respite has its moments for everyone: great moments when our clients reconnect with their families, find permanent housing, and recover from illness; anxious moments when an ambulance has been called or a service falls though; sad moments when a client sucumbs to an addiction or negative behavior.

At the end of this day, however, I am thinking about the little moments everyone shared in their interviews.  Why?  Because it’s not just the great breakthroughs that help people, it’s the act of listening, watching, or simply not leaving when things go wrong.  Walking slowly to accomodate a friend, helping pick up scattered papers, listening to the story of a sad day – during these moments we gain special insight into the people we serve.

There’s some kind of healing in the connection itself, I believe.  Do you agree?  Or, do you have your own “little moment” story to share?

Read Full Post »

Another Homeless Song: Chapman’s “Revolution”

It’s Friday again – our song this week is Tracy Chapman’s “Talkin’ Bout a Revolution,” again from LaDonna.  Millie, our nurse manager, wanted to share “Trying to Find My Place in the World,” but we couldn’t track it down on YouTube.  If anyone knows the artist for that piece, leave us a comment and I’ll post the song next week.

Meanwhile, “Revolution” is a fair description of day-to-day life for many low-income and homeless men and women who spend many a long hour waiting in line to secure benefits.  As a result of the recent economic downturn, cash-strapped agencies try to help a growing number of people with dwindling resources.  This can result in longer wait times for those who need help the most. 

For Respite clients who break the cycle of homelessness, being housed really is a revolution.  And it takes a personal revolution to work through issues of mental illness, addiction, and abuse.  That’s why we’re so proud of clients like Mike!

Read Full Post »

A Place of My Own: Mike’s Story

As promised, here is another story of one of our clients.  With the help of Center for Respite Care staff, Mike healed, was able to confront the issues keeping him homeless, and found housing through our program, Respite Permanent Housing.  This is his story, in his own words.  If you’d like more stories about people like Mike or if you want to help those who are homeless and sick, email respitesupport at zoomtown.com today.

 

I never thought that homelessness would happen to me, let me start off by saying that.  When drugs took over my life I had no idea where it was going to take me.  It was just a joyride, just today, but you put that string of days, weeks, years together it adds up. 

 

Somebody introduced me to marijuana at age 16 and said I’d get the same effect as alcohol without the hangover.  I smoked marijuana for 35 years, did some pain pills and cocaine along the way; whatever was around, I’d do it. 

 

Little by little, addiction took me away from my family because all I had on my mind was the getting and using of drugs.  I kept a job as a mechanic for BP for 19 years, but when I was introduced to crack, it was over with.  I was stealing everything in site – money from my bank account, money from retirement, my kids’ games, toys, the pictures off the wall.  From the time I got up in the morning until the time I went to bed, crack was on my mind. 

 

I was evicted, started living on the street, starting stealing for my crack and ended up in and out of jails and rehab for the next five years.  I got out of jail and kept doing the same thing.  And each time it would take a little piece of me – my paycheck, then my bank account, then my retirement, then friends and relatives started alienating me and then it ended up in a divorce.  And there are a hundred things in-between all that. 

 

I spent five years floating around like a butterfly; wherever I landed, that’s where I laid my head.  After I got a blister on my foot and started to feel really sick, I checked myself into University Hospital.  When it was time for me to get released, they asked where I wanted to go and told me about the Center for Respite Care.

 

It’s hard for people that don’t have an addictive personality to understand.  I didn’t want to quit then; I’ve quit now because I’ve had enough. 

 

I had heard about Respite from another person, but I didn’t have any idea it was the way it is as far as helping people.  I thought it was just another option toward getting healed before I went back on the street, but I’ll tell you what: it’s a blessing in disguise that I ended up in the hospital because this place is a gift.  The staff at Respite is going to help me get an apartment, they fed me, they took care of my medical needs and just little things: razors, soap, a place to take a bath, a place to sleep.  

 

What’s on my mind now is that I risked losing the relationship with my two daughters.  They mean a lot to me.  I talk to them at least once a week and I know now that it’s on me – I have to show them I mean business.

 

Read Full Post »

Songs that Remind Us of Homelessness: “Harry Hippy”

This is week two of my latest installment, songs that remind us of homelessness.  “Harry Hippy” is an old Bobby Womack song and is recommended by Kathy, our Housing Coordinator. 

This is a totally different style than “Mr. Wendal” and has a different message as well.  In our interpretation, Harry is a chronically homeless individual, one of the ones you can’t always reach.  We have some clients like Harry – sometimes we can help them, and sometimes they choose a different path.  Like Harry, they each sing their own song.

When someone choses an addiction or self-destructive habit over an outstretched hand, it raises so many questions; how did this person slip through the cracks?  What could we have done differently?  I think this song expresses some of that sense of loss and frustration. 

 

Coming next week . . .

Read the story of Mike T., a former mechanic and drug addict who found his way out of homelessness via Respite Permanent Housing – he’s moving into his new place tomorrow!  And although Mike isn’t a “Harry Hippy,” he used one of the same phrases that was used in the song when I interviewed him, “just floating around,” to describe homelessness.  His is truly a homeless success story.

Read Full Post »

Cincinnati Newspaper Focuses on Homelessness

Wake up, Cincinnati – are you reading Streetvibes yet?  I’ve commented about Streetvibes frequently, but haven’t yet written about this great local newspaper in depth.  The Greater Cincinnati Coalition for the Homeless publishes this paper that is part info and part advocacy and “provides relevant discussions of homelessness, poverty, and other related social justice issues.”  It also provides a source of income to vendors who earn seventy-five cents per paper.

I have a former client who first wrote and article for Streetvibes and today is my preferred vendor (and just found an apartment of her own) because she makes a special stop at the Respite.   Anyways, the news of the day is that the friendly folks at Streetvibes are blogging, so you can get more homeless news and Cincinnati-related social justice news directly from them as well!

Read Full Post »

Addiction and Acceptance

One of my clients read the following paragraph to me today as a kind of follow-up to our discussion of his plans for the future and dealing with a vastly abbreviated lifespan.  There is much I could say about the man and his condition, but I think the paragraph speaks for itself.  Per my client, it is from page 417 of the Alcoholics Anonymous handbook.

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.  When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation-some fact of my life-unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.  Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s* world by mistake.  Until I could accept alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.  Unless I accept life on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.  I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”

Obviously, based on the source, this passage is intended for recovering alcoholics, but this particular client is using it to come to terms with a much weightier issue.  I pinned this up over my desk, finding it impossible to remain untouched.

*The Center for Respite Care is a secular organization.  This passage reflects the belief of one client we serve, but not our organization as a whole.  We remain committed to openness towards all beliefs, thoughts, and ideas and welcome staff, clients, volunteers, and friends of all backgrounds.

Read Full Post »

Not Just Homeless, Not Just Walking

I don’t like the word “just” when used to mean “simply.”  It’s far too often misused to imply a simplicity that doesn’t exist.  Think of all the times someone has said “can’t you just. . .” or “well, they’re just. . .”  Those are rarely statements we want to hear.  Our clients aren’t “just homeless,” they’re human.  There’s no “just” about it.

In any case, I promised an update about our walking program and I’m pleased to report it’s going okay so far.  No pulled muscles so far and fresh air in the morning feels fantastic!  Some of the clients have been hard to pull out of bed (just kidding), but those who participate each day are already noticing a difference.  We encourage the clients to attend as their medical concerns allow.  The Center for Respite Care is, after all, not just a homeless shelter, but a medical facility as well. 

There’s another benefit as well and it’s one I wouldn’t have thought of otherwise.  Walking gives us a chance to just be with our clients and get to know them a bit better outside of medical and social needs.  It helps remind them too that they’re more than homeless.  They’re people with pasts and futures and they have a lot to offer.  Today, for example, I got some free advice on maintaining my car.

So, while walking may seem like a small step towards recovery, it’s also a chance for us to connect with our clients in a new way.

Read Full Post »

Are the Homeless Lazy?

The homeless are people, first of all, and some people are lazy.  To say, however that all homeless people are lazy is unkind.  I watch many of my clients expend huge amounts of time and energy just to reclaim some basics: filling prescriptions, obtaining a birth certificate or social security card, or applying for food stamps.  Getting a set of glasses, for one client, took about six hours because she had a long bus wait and a long bus ride each way.  That’s a long time to go without a meal!

We really should look at the individual because there are different homeless people out there, not just one big group of “lazy homeless people.”  It’s an unfair stereotype, really.

The clients here at the Center for Respite Care are homeless and sick, so they have to navigate crazy bus schedules, medical/social work appointments, and answering some bigger questions about what comes next.  I won’t deny laziness in some, but I refuse to label them as a group.  If you met a lazy accountant, would you assume that all other accountants are lazy?  I hope that you would not.  Take the same approach with homeless people.

In the Center for Respite Care lobby, there is a sign that reads, “Homelessness is a situation, not an identity.”  None of us are immune to this situation, either, and realizing this helps build compassion.  I’m not saying there aren’t lazy homeless people, I’m saying that there are lazy people in all walks of life.  That doesn’t mean we can’t feel compassion for them.

Read Full Post »

Let’s Get some Exercise!

Next Monday is a big day for the Center for Respite Care!  We’ve decided to implement a light exercise program for our clients.  With our physician’s permission, clients are going to spend 15 minutes a day walking in the park across the street.  We’re ready too – water bottles were the giveaway at last week’s game day.  And word on the street is that yours truly is going to lead the warm-ups.  I’ll let you know how it goes!  Hopefully it will get us all into a more motion-oriented mind frame.

In the meantime, lend a hand to the homeless in this heat!  Carry an extra water bottle to pass out to the homeless you encounter.  If we don’t look out for one another, who will? 

Read Full Post »

Pictionary Fridays at Respite

Being ill and trying to break the cycle of homelessness are big tasks.  Many of our homeless clients have troubled pasts, and much work awaits them in breaking down old barriers.  Simple things that the rest of us take for granted, such as having forms of identification, present barriers to those who are homeless and sick.  I don’t know about you, but when I’m sick, I don’t feel like doing anything!  In any case, just tracking down a birth certificate can be a gargantuan task.

Luckily, today is Game Day Friday.  For the last couple weeks, we’ve used our group sessions on Fridays to play pictionary with the clients, rather than bingo (another favorite).  I stopped upstairs this week to have some fun with the clients and get a chance to interact with them outside our usual dealings.  It was great to see everyone relaxed and laughing.  Ok, there was some arguing too, but that’s part of the game. 

Over the past few months, we’ve had a couple clients with amazing artistic abilities, and they’re killer pictionary players!  Most of us, however, were simply united by our inability to draw.  Stick figures, anyone?

Read Full Post »